Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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