is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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