No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
