Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
