And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Your penis caused this!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
