Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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