can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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