No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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