all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
