Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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