we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
