hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
