Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Randomize
