who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She announced her abortion via fbk
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
