you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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