After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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