U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I need to stop coming to work sober
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
