I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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