STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
