I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
