Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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