There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
