dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
