I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
