Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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