My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I got inside last night via doggy door
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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