i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
