he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize