no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize