dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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