I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
