Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
