at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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