I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
