I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
