the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize