A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
