I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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