the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You may now shotgun with the bride
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
