Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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