I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize