he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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