I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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