You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
