hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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