dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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