I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
it's great music for shaving your balls
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
