Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
