Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
