The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just blew my weed a kiss
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
