I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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