No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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