idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
