The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We are all done wearing pants today
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
A bitchslap is in order.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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