idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
