i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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