so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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