I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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