oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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