I think scott just propositioned me for sex
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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