There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
