I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Im part way to drunk.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
